Likability--Nicki Minaj Got It Wrong

Not to say Nicki Minaj is an unlikable person...I mean...I don't like her, but I'm sure there are people out there who think she's great. What I'm actually talking about is her new single, Super Bass. 

This is the music video, which I have never watched before. I have no idea whether or not this is safe for work, but probably not. Actually...y'know what...without even watching the video, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt, this is definitely NSFW.
PS: The following post might not be suitable for younger or sensitive viewers.

Mkay, now that I've got the disclaimer out of the way, let's discuss this song.

The first time I heard it, I thought it was pretty catchy if nothing else--like most music that gets popular nowadays. It was definitely something I could tap my foot along with when it came on. But then I started listening to what she was actually saying.

The FIRST lyrics in the song are:

"This one is for the boys with the boomin' system

Top down, AC with the coolin' system

When he come up in the club, he blazin' up

Got stacks on deck like he savin' up"

Uh...Nicki, you do realize there isn't a real rhyme in that verse right? You can't rhyme "system" with "system" and "up" with "up." Whatever--it's kind of lazy, but it doesn't ruin the whole song. What's next?

"And he ill, he real, he might gotta deal

He pop bottles and he got the right kind of bill

He cold, he dope, he might sell coke

He always in the air, but he never fly coach."

Err...

All right...there isn't any rhyming here either, but that not what got me. 

HE MIGHT SELL COKE?! 

What?! Nicki is that REALLY the type of guy you want?

"He a muthaf*ckin trip, trip

Sailor of the ship, ship

When he make it drip, drip,

Kiss him on the lip, lip

That's the kinda dude I was lookin' for

And yes, you'll get slapped if you're lookin' ho"

Apparently, that's EXACTLY the type of guy she wants...

Ugggh...

"I said, excuse me, you're a hell of a guy

I mean, my, my, my, my you're like pelican fly

I mean, you're so shy and I'm loving your tie

You're like slicker than the guy with the thing on his eye, oh"

I actually had to look up what "pelican fly" meant. At first, I figured it was just a nonsense lyric, but I actually found a definition on Urban Dictionary.

"Pelican Fly"

When you are completely wasted/high/stoned to the point of totally losing it. Can only really reach "pelican fly" on cocaine, amphetamines, E, LSD. But some people can reach it on marijuana.
Origins from the film "Scarface." Al Paccino is sitting in a bath watching TV and sees a pair of flamingoes flying and says : "Hey Manny look at it .. Pelican fly come on pelican."

So...it's another coke reference. Something makes me think Nicki Minaj is under the impression being a coke dealer (and user, apparently) is pretty glamorous. She should know it's not. I mean, she made a Scarface reference! Didn't she watch the ending??

Anywho--that's all I need to make my point. This (hopefully fictional) guy Nicki is singing about sounds like an asshole.

Why is she so into him? 

Because he has stacks of money?

Because he never rides coach?

Because he has a nice tie?

Because he's shy??

Speaking of which--one of these things is not like the others. One of these things doesn't belong.

How shy can he possibly be if he's in the club popping bottles and obviously hopped up on coke? This doesn't make sense, Nicki! Was it just for the sake of the rhyme? Whatever--that's just me being nit-picky.

My actual point is simple:

Nicki Minaj has created an all-around unlikeable character in Super Bass. A character she claims has her "heartbeat runnin' away." As a writer, I'm sitting here wondering, Why the hell would any chick in their right mind be interested in this guy??

Miss Minaj has pretty much written a clever 101 for how NOT to write a love interest. If his only "redeeming" quality is being able to afford expensive airline tickets, there's something very, very wrong.

What are your thoughts on Nicki's new song?

Have you ever stumbled across a horrible representation of a love interest in a song?

What about a great representation?

HAPPY WRITING, LOVELIES!