NaNo-A-Go-Go

Just wanted to drop by and let everyone know I haven't gotten sucked into a black hole or eaten by ravenous werefrogs or anything crazy like that.

I'm still very much alive...I've just been working my butt off on my NaNoWriMo project, which I've decided to call FLIGHT OF THE FINCH. 

I'm currently 21k in.

Whoo. That's a lot of work for one week :)

So yeah--for those of you who missed it the last time I posted about my NaNo project, here's the craptastic summary I worked up for the story:

***

Finch Bettencourt begins as little more than twisted scraps of wire and lumps of clay. His father's masterful hands shape him and give him life. Eighteen years later, his father announces he's dying of a mysterious illness and sends Finch away to live with a dear friend--queen of their great country.

Finch is forced to leave his small hometown for the first time in his life and relocate to the huge palace at the heart of his country's biggest city. Though suffering from culture shock and in deep mourning, Finch manages to make a few new friends--Cleona Rosslyn, the queen's niece, and Dorian Malone, the royal family's aeronautics expert.

While the queen plans a grand masquerade ball to celebrate Finch's arrival in the palace, Finch can only think of his father. As the ball draws nearer, he hatches a plan. He'll steal away with the king's prized airship and find the Gray Maidens--powerful Fae who reunite the souls of the dead with their bodies. With Cleona and Dorian's help, he slips away during the ball and sets out of find the Maidens.

But trouble awaits Finch along the way. The mysterious truth of his origins come to haunt him in the form of a traitorous palace guard and a greedy air pirate. If he is to reunite with his father, he must evade capture while also unraveling his shadowed past and his father's deep-running lies.

***

It's a YA fantasy, with some steampunk-esc bits and--GASP!--a male MC. I'm having so much fun writing a guy. I'm surprised at how well it's flowing. I figured I'd be kind of stumped. (Y'know...being a girl and all.)

 But anywho--I just want everyone to know I'm not dead! Just really busy. And I will be back to action on the blogosphere soon! Pinky promise!

Are you participating in NaNo this year?

If so, what's your story about?

Are you reaching your goals?

HAPPY WRITING, LOVELIES!

Happy Halloween + Horror Movie Survival Guide

Hello, lovelies! 

I'm back to wish everyone a happy Halloween! I hope everyone enjoys their last day of freedom before NaNo begins. I know I will. (By the way, if you want to become my NaNo buddy, click HERE and I'll love you forever.)

In the spirit of the holiday, I typed up a horror movie survival guide. Everyone I showed it to pestered me to share it here, so that's what I'm going to do. But I must warn you: There is some seriously harsh language. If you don't like that sort of stuff, feel free to skip this post.

---

Survival Guide
Rules to Surviving a Horror Movie

Has a masked killer ever chased you through a graveyard in the dead of night? Is a sociopathic burn victim invading your dreams? Have you awakened one or more times to find a ghostly Japanese child looming in the corner of your bedroom? Has a machete-wielding maniac ever ruined what should've been a hormonally driven, weekend-long bangfest between you and your uncannily sexy friends?

If so, you're probably in a horror movie. But fear not! Just follow the simple rules found in this guide and you'll be sure to stumble to safety before the credits roll.

1.) Never, under any circumstances, investigate that noise!
Things that go bump in the night are fucking spooky. Which is exactly why you should never go "check it out!" Ignore it, tell yourself it was the wind, whatever--just DON'T investigate. Remember: Curiosity killed the dumb teenager.

2.) Basements and attics kill more unsuspecting teenagers a year than spoiled milk, escalators, and auto-erotic asphyxiation accidents combined.
Stay clear of all basements and attics. They are death traps. Dark and musty, usually lacking proper electricity, with plenty of old--and probably creepy as shit--family heirlooms that will make you shit yourself right before the actual killer slits yours throat from behind. Be mindful of: the area under the stairs, the rafters, all dark corners.

2b.) Running upstairs, AKA: The Fuckwit's Death.
When being chased through a dark house by a bloodthirsty lunatic, the worst thing you can do is go upstairs. Stairs only lead to the killer carving you up like a Christmas goose and fashioning your skin into coverings for his furniture, Ed Gein style.

2c.) The front door is a lie.
The front door always holds the promise of safety...the only problem? It's usually locked. And those precious seconds you're going to spend fumbling with the lock like a tweaking Michael J. Fox are all the killer needs to catch up and slit your throat from ear to ear.

3.) Have your keys at the ready!
You've been there--a shadowy killer is pursuing you through a dark alley. You finally reach your car. Panting, you dive into the front seat, but fumble with your keys and drop them, losing them in the darkness by your feet. Now you're going to die like the whimpering child you are. Keep a firm grip on your keys at all times. Tape the friggin' key-chain to your hand if you have to!

4.) Being in the dark (or even dim-light) is synonymous with 'instant death sentence.'
Going anywhere near the dark is just asking to have your head ripped off and your nostrils raped. It's just bad for business--granted you're in the business of "God help me! I don't want to die like this!" So, if you want to go on living, gather all the lamps in the house and hunker down until dawn.

4b.) If the flashlight goes out, you're screwed.
If you find yourself forced into a situation where you have to brave the darkness, keep a backup flashlight or extra batteries on you at all times! If you even suspect your flashlight is about to go out, break out the backup or change the battery immediately! And be quick about it! Every second you're without a light source is time the killer/ghost/demon/wereplatypus is using to close in on you!

5.) This is your brain, this is drugs, this is your decapitated head after you used those drugs. I can totally see your brain, by the way.
Engaging in the use of substances including, but not limited to: marijuana, hashish, mushrooms, cocaine, heroin, opium, meth, LSD or any other hallucinogen will probably get you gutted up the middle and left choking on your own blood. Hell--even alcohol will probably land you with a hatchet in your forehead. Or at least a butter knife in the eye.

6.) Sex is usually awesome...just not right now.
Yeah, yeah--I know. 'No sex?! This is bullshit!' you say. But hear me out. There's something about the mind of a horror movie monster/killer/CGI abomination that makes it get all worked up when it sees two (or more, if you're into that) young, attractive people boinking like bunnies. And, for reasons science can't explain, that makes them go all stabbity-rip-stab-stab. Usually on your faces and naughty parts. And no one wants that.

^{(*And yes, masturbation IS included. So, stop fapping so damn much.)}

7.) Dress appropriately!
Close-fitting jeans and shirts (preferably sleeveless) to avoid getting caught on any pesky twigs while you're running blindly through the forest from that disfigured cannibal. Hiking boots with the laces tucked in are probably the ideal footwear. Absolutely NO high-heels! You WILL trip and you WILL twist your ankle and you WILL die. If possible, cut your hair short. Nothing is worse than being this close to safety and having your sexylicious hair get caught on a branch and ruin everything.

8.) Don't trust the sexy stranger.
Strangers are bad news--especially if they also happen to be a friggin' sex bomb. It doesn't matter if they're the smoothest, most charming motherfucker you've ever met--if you've never met them and they make your no-no place tingle, it's highly likely they want to slice you open and eat your spleen.

9.) If there's no indoor bathroom, hold it!
Nothing will get you killed quicker and in a more degrading way than going outside after dark to take a piss. Unless you want to die with your dick in your hand, you'd best wait until morning...or use the kitchen sink.

10.) Doors that open by themselves, AKA: It's A Trap!
You know those box-and-string traps? Prop the box up with a stick, tie a string to the stick, put food under the box, and wait. Eventually, something will be stupid enough to check it out. Simple, right? But people aren't dumb enough to fall for that. Nooo, of course not. Actually. Yes. This is just like that, except instead of food, the bait isn't even anything tangible. It's pure curiosity that drives your stupid ass to see what's behind that door. And what's behind that door is actually a ghost that plans to feast on your fucking soul.

11.) Don't be an asshat.
The douchebag usually makes it pretty far, but they always get their comeuppance in the end. And, nine times out of ten, it's fucking gruesome. If you don't want to be to one who gets strung up by meat-hooks jammed into your eye sockets, you probably shouldn't be a little bitch about everything.

12.) Drive quickly, but safely!
Cars in horror movies will flip over if you sneeze on them, so even the slightest bump in the road will send you flying end over end. You'll probably survive the crash, but you won't be so lucky when the killer shows up to rip your jaw off.

13.) NEVER get out of the car.
You're driving on an old dirt road after dark. Your tire blows. You aren't getting a signal on your cell phone. You have no idea how far away civilization is. What do you do? Get out and find help? Well, sure--if you want to die like an idiot, go ahead and walk. But for all you sane people who don't want to end up as a skin-suit, lock the doors, huddle up in the backseat, and wait until morning. If anyone shows up and offers you a ride, DON'T take it. They'll skullfuck you to death.

13b.) The backseat will fuck you over.
If you're stupid enough to leave your vehicle, you're usually going to get chased back into said vehicle by a flesh-hungry ghost child. But the thing is, that ghost child is probably already lying in wait in your shadowy backseat. As soon as you breath that heavy, relieved sigh, it's going to lurch around and rip your lungs out.

14.) If an invisible force attacks you in the night, sell the fucking house.
Seriously--don't be an idiot. Even if it's the house you've been dreaming about all your life, pack your shit and hit the road. If you stay, you're just asking for it.

14b.) When the dog is barking at nothing, it isn't really "nothing."
Don't brush it off just because it's the dog. Fido is probably smarter than you are.

15.) Trust your gut!
If you have a sneaking feeling he might be a creeper, he probably is. Get out of there before he staples you to a chair and forces you to watch him dance naked to Goodbye Horses. Remember kids: If it seems sketchy, it probably is, and you will probably be skinned alive and left hanging over an open fire by your feet to cook slowly like gross teenager jerky (which tastes like angst and Mountain Dew, by the way).

15b.) Feel that tickle on the back of your neck? Don't ignore it!
Do you ever feel like someone is watching you? Someone probably is. And they probably want to crack your skull open and drink from it like a goddamn coconut.

16.) If you're by yourself, you're dead.
Traveling by yourself--or even just living alone--is a GREAT way to make sure you end up dead in a puddle of your own bloody entrails. Pairs are good, but groups of three or more are optimal. Otherwise, prepare to get really acquainted with the business end of that hammer.

16b.) The slowest kid gets screwed.
If you're "that slow kid," go ahead and write up a will now. 'Cause no one is coming back for your slow ass. If this is you, shoot your friend's kneecap off right now. Maybe you'll have a chance.

17.) Louver doors suck.
You know those decorative closet doors with the little slates that sit at an angle? Yeah--those are pretty. And great for peeping through to see where the killer is! Trouble is, the killer can probably see your dumbass as well. He might make a couple sweeps across the room, and you might think you're safe, but he will be back and he will tear your face off.

18.) RUN, BITCH, RUN!
Do you really think cowering in the corner like a snot-soaked pansy will make the killer take pity on you and go away? Because it won't. If anything, it makes him want to cut your spinal cord out even more. And it makes you look like a pussy.

19.) Breaking windows saves lives.
If you won't break your own window, even when a grisly hell-spawn is bearing down on you, then you deserve to die. You can get new windows at the hardware store--there's no replacing your esophagus once that monster has pulled it out through your mouth. Throw a lamp through that shit and get out of dodge while you still can!

20.) Sharp, pointy objects are your best friends.
Get as many as you can. Collect them. Hoard them. Because, when push comes to shove, they'll save your ass from becoming a frothy dumb teenager milkshake. Things that go boom (guns) are great, but bullets generally have no effect on horror movie menaces. To really get 'em, you've got to shank those bitches.


^{(**Results may vary**)}

Eek :(

I am SO sorry for not posting regularly. I've had a really stressful few weeks.

I wish I could say I was going to resume regular posting in the next few days, but I'm really not sure. I'm hoping I'll have everything worked out and under control soon, though, 'cause I really miss blogging and reading other people's blogs.

I'll definitely try to find some time for blogging in November--even with NaNo, I'm sure I can scrape at least a little time together.

Anyway, I'm really sorry, everyone, and I totally miss all of you!

FTLF -- Jane Austen's Fight Club

Hey, lovelies!

Long time, no see. Sorry about that. I've been really caught up planning my NaNo project this month. That's going really well, by the way.

But I always feel bad when I neglect the blogosphere. So, I decided to drop by today for another installment of For The Lulz Friday.

First off, this hilarious little video I stumbled across the other day:

I would totally read this book, by the way. Ladies in 1810 starting their own fight club? Pfft! That's awesome.


Next up, an amazing artist from Singapore. (Not actually funny, but definitely really awesome.)



So, SO cool. That has to be unbelievably difficult. Kudos to that dude.

Have I ever mentioned that I love Betty White? I think she's adorable and totally hilarious. Well...I happened upon this promo for Lifeline not long ago. Betty White. Surrounded by buff guys wearing nothing but shiny, gold trunks. Rapping. About how she's still hot.

Oooh, Betty. Keep on rockin'.

Next, quite possibly the most awesome trick shot video I've seen in a long time.

That Brodie guy is a GOD with a Frisbee. (A guy called Brodie is good with a Frisbee? Get outta town!)


Here's another video that isn't particularly funny, but definitely worth the watch.

Mkay--that's all for the videos, but I do have a few pictures from my Lulz folder that I'd like to share.

A tardis made completely out of balloons that seems to be set up in a comic book shop. If anyone knows where I can find that shop, PLEASE TELL ME!

Oh, this is just too great. Want to read this book as much as I did? Well, guess what--you can. DrFaustusAU on deviantART (the creator of this awesomesauce) is posting pages on his account. Click on over and check them out.

I actually found this while searching for references for the maps I was drawing for my NaNo project. It's got everything! Avalon, Never Neverland, the Land of the Lost, Hyrule, Labyrinth!! Squee!

I would've done the same thing. I can't stand missing apostrophes. Thank you for fixing that, Punctuation Pirates!

Holy shizz?! Those ponchos were good for space travel? What the hell?! Mine barely kept me dry in a light drizzle! I got ripped off....


That's all for now! Hope you got a few lulz.

HAPPY WRITING, LOVELIES!

[Insert Pop Culture Reference Here]

I came across a book not long ago with a title that made me stop and say, "Oh wow, I really want to read that." I decided to check out the sample chapter before shilling out the ninety-nine cents to buy it. It started out pretty strong--I was enjoying the way the characters bounced off one another (though that didn't last long...more on that later). 

Then...

The pop culture references started. 

BOOM--Jersey Shore joke! BAM--guy in a Rorschach costume! POW--Twilight references coming at me from every side!

By the time I got to page three, I felt like I had stumbled across the secret illegitimate love child MTV had with TMZ. Needless to say, I came away feeling a little dizzy.

While the jokes were somewhat amusing, I couldn't help thinking they'd be incredibly dated in a few years. I mean, with any luck Jersey Shore will be nothing but a distant, shameful memory ten years from now.

The jokes are funny now, but with time, they'll lose impact--and in some cases, they'll lose meaning all together. If whatever you're joking about drifts far enough away from the public eye, older audiences who actually remember what you're talking about will have to explain the joke to the younger crowd--and if there's one thing that will kill a joke, it's having to stop and explain it.

It's almost the same as how fashion and hair styles in movies and TV shows become dated.

Yeah, you see what I mean.

For instance, my boyfriend and I were once hanging around with some of our friends and a few of their much younger relatives. Somehow, one of us ended up making a Superdude reference. Now, the two of us and all our friends grew up in the 90s, so we definitely watched All That.

And we definitely knew who Superdude was.

So, we got the joke and we had a good laugh. But the kids hadn't been introduced to All That (though, they have started playing it again...really late at night on weekdays. Thank all things holy for TiVo) and, naturally, they didn't get what was so funny.

The same thing applies to this book. The entire first chapter, which was only a few pages long, was absolutely packed with pop culture references. There was at least one mention of AXE body spray or Jack Sparrow or Twilight every few paragraphs. In fact, the most pivotal part of the first chapter revolves around one of the characters pissing off a large group of Twi-hards.

It's almost like this author was setting their work up to become dated right from the get-go. (Not that I think Twilight will eventually fade from the public eye...I'm just pretty sure the Twi-mania will cool down after a while.)

My point here is simple: while you're writing, keep in mind what makes a work timeless...and what sets it up to become dated right off the bat.

Also, I mentioned wanting to talk about the characters' interactions with one another. That will be my next post. So yeah...be on the look out for that.

What are your thoughts on an abundance of pop culture references?

Have you ever found something you knew would be dated in ten years?

HAPPY WRITING, LOVELIES!

"OH COME ON" Moments

Have I ever mentioned before that my boyfriend hates watching movies with me? According to him, I'm too critical. Instead of sitting back and enjoying the ride (like he insists I should), I'm on high alert for any little feck ups in the story. (And I'm very, very vocal about it when I spot one.) I like to call them "OH COME ON" moments. (Because, nine times out of ten, that's what I yell.)

Here are a few I griped about that all but made my boyfriend throw his bowl of popcorn at me:

(Fair warning: This post will probably contain spoilers. If you come to a movie you haven't seen, but want to, maybe you should skip to the next one.)

The Hangover

OH COME ON Moment:

So, you expect me to believe Doug spent two whole days on a sunny Las Vegas rooftop with no food or fresh water and did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING aside from throwing his mattress off the roof? Have none of the writers ever seen I Shouldn't Be Alive? The lengths a human being will go to to save themselves are incredible, and yet Doug couldn't be bothered to bang on the door or call for help to the people below?

According to Wikipedia, "[in Las Vegas] the summer months of June through September are very hot and mostly dry, with average daytime highs of 94 to 104 °F (34 to 40 °C) and night-time lows of 69–78 °F (21–26 °C). There are an average of 133 days per year above 90 °F (32 °C), and 72 days above 100 °F (38 °C), with most of the days in July and August exceeding that benchmark." 

Excuse me, but screw that. Any person in their right mind would've been trying like crazy to get someone's attention. But not Doug.

Superman

OH COME ON Moment:

Is it just me, or did Superman let an entire neighborhood of people die horrifically to save his girlfriend? You remember that iconic (and very silly) scene where Superman reverses the Earth's rotation and turns back time? (However the hell that works...) Remember why he did that? Because while he was busy saving an entire neighborhood from the Hoover Dam's imminent collapse, Lois Lane died during the earthquake Lex Luthor's missile caused. So, Superman reverses time and saves Lois Lane from being buried alive.

But the whole reason he couldn't save her the first time around is because, at the exact same instant, the Hoover Dam was about to collapse and unleash watery death on a neighborhood full of innocent men, women, and children. Sooo...if Superman turned back time and saved Lois instead, logic tells us he couldn't also save those people. Jeez, Superman--and I thought you were supposed to be the good guy. Haven't you ever heard the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few?

Speaking of Spock...

Star Trek

OH COME ON Moment:

When Nero is transported into the past, he destroys the USS Kelvin and kills Kirk's father. The next time we see him is twenty-five years later when he destroys the planet Vulcan. But...where the hell has he been for those twenty-five years? My sources tell me a deleted scene included on the DVD actually explains he was captured by Klingons and imprisoned for twenty-five years, escaping right around the same time Kirk and Spock are graduating from Starfleet.

Mkay, I'll take that answer, but I don't have the DVD, and if I didn't have trekkie friends that actually bought it, I never would have known about that scene. I get that they probably had to cut it for time restraints, but they could have squeezed in a line of dialogue or SOMETHING to explain where the feck Nero had been all that time! Because without it, those who don't watch the deleted scenes are faced with a real OH COME ON moment.

Edward Scissorhands

OH COME ON Moment:

This one actually kind of pains me to bring up, because I love this movie. Buuut...it wouldn't be fair to leave it out just because this movie is so close to my heart. (And, to be honest, I like all the movies on this list so far. So...yeah.)

If you've seen this movie, you probably remember the end--Edward has returned to his house on the hill and his ice sculptures are the reason behind the "snow" that falls on the neighborhood ever year. But...where does Edward get the ice to make his sculptures? I mean, he's a recluse who probably doesn't have an internet connection or even a phone line, so it's not like he could just order them. But somehow he has access to enough huge blocks of ice to rain "snow" down on the neighborhood below? C'moooon.

The Empire Strikes Back

OH COME ON Moment:

Y'know how Luke is getting trained in the ways of the force with Yoda while Han, Leia, and the others are being chased by the Empire to Lando's Cloud City? And by the time Han, Leia, and the others arrive on Cloud City and are taken captive by Vader, Luke has already finished his Jedi training? Well, how the feck did that work out?

I thought Jedi training was something you started when you were a young child. How freaking long did it take the Falcon to reach Cloud City? Either that was the slowest trip ever, or Luke somehow covered years of Jedi training in mere days. Maybe the Falcon's engines went out several times during the trip or something. *rolls eyes*



You should definitely watch out for these moments in your WIPs. No one wants their readers to get through an important scene and say, "Wait...but what about (insert detail here)? OH COME ON!"

And, since we're writing books, we don't have the luxury of using excuses like, "The scene that explains where my villain has been for two decades was taken out because of time restraints--it's on the Extras menu, though," and, "The only reason that training process that usually takes years seemed to take a few days was because of faulty parallel editing!"

Have you ever experienced an OH COME ON moment?

Do you watch movies purely for the entertainment or do you have a critical eye?

HAPPY WRITING, LOVELIES!

NaNo Plans and The Search For A Crit Partner

So first off, I've already started planning for NaNo. I already have half a notebook of notes and details about the story and I created a private blog to collect all my ideas and put them in order. I have the first eight chapters planned out so far. As I've probably mentioned before, it's going to be another YA fantasy, but with lots of steampunk-y bits and *gasp* a male MC. I'm so excited about it. Here's hoping I get all my planning done before November 1st rolls around! (I'm sure I will...probably...hopefully...)

In other news, I'm kinda looking for a crit partner to look over DARK WATER. Sad as this is, I've never had a CP before and I'm a little...I dunno--confused and nervous.

Yeah--something like that. So, if anyone out there wants to familiarize me with the world of CPs, I'd be eternally grateful. If you're interested in doing me the awesome favor of criting DARK WATER (I'll love you forever, lol) or know where I might be able to find someone, just leave a comment or drop me an email. (You can find my addy on the Stalk Me page up at the top.)

Thanks in advance, everyone! 

HAPPY WRITING, LOVELIES!

Likability--Nicki Minaj Got It Wrong

Not to say Nicki Minaj is an unlikable person...I mean...I don't like her, but I'm sure there are people out there who think she's great. What I'm actually talking about is her new single, Super Bass. 

This is the music video, which I have never watched before. I have no idea whether or not this is safe for work, but probably not. Actually...y'know what...without even watching the video, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt, this is definitely NSFW.
PS: The following post might not be suitable for younger or sensitive viewers.

Mkay, now that I've got the disclaimer out of the way, let's discuss this song.

The first time I heard it, I thought it was pretty catchy if nothing else--like most music that gets popular nowadays. It was definitely something I could tap my foot along with when it came on. But then I started listening to what she was actually saying.

The FIRST lyrics in the song are:

"This one is for the boys with the boomin' system

Top down, AC with the coolin' system

When he come up in the club, he blazin' up

Got stacks on deck like he savin' up"

Uh...Nicki, you do realize there isn't a real rhyme in that verse right? You can't rhyme "system" with "system" and "up" with "up." Whatever--it's kind of lazy, but it doesn't ruin the whole song. What's next?

"And he ill, he real, he might gotta deal

He pop bottles and he got the right kind of bill

He cold, he dope, he might sell coke

He always in the air, but he never fly coach."

Err...

All right...there isn't any rhyming here either, but that not what got me. 

HE MIGHT SELL COKE?! 

What?! Nicki is that REALLY the type of guy you want?

"He a muthaf*ckin trip, trip

Sailor of the ship, ship

When he make it drip, drip,

Kiss him on the lip, lip

That's the kinda dude I was lookin' for

And yes, you'll get slapped if you're lookin' ho"

Apparently, that's EXACTLY the type of guy she wants...

Ugggh...

"I said, excuse me, you're a hell of a guy

I mean, my, my, my, my you're like pelican fly

I mean, you're so shy and I'm loving your tie

You're like slicker than the guy with the thing on his eye, oh"

I actually had to look up what "pelican fly" meant. At first, I figured it was just a nonsense lyric, but I actually found a definition on Urban Dictionary.

"Pelican Fly"

When you are completely wasted/high/stoned to the point of totally losing it. Can only really reach "pelican fly" on cocaine, amphetamines, E, LSD. But some people can reach it on marijuana.
Origins from the film "Scarface." Al Paccino is sitting in a bath watching TV and sees a pair of flamingoes flying and says : "Hey Manny look at it .. Pelican fly come on pelican."

So...it's another coke reference. Something makes me think Nicki Minaj is under the impression being a coke dealer (and user, apparently) is pretty glamorous. She should know it's not. I mean, she made a Scarface reference! Didn't she watch the ending??

Anywho--that's all I need to make my point. This (hopefully fictional) guy Nicki is singing about sounds like an asshole.

Why is she so into him? 

Because he has stacks of money?

Because he never rides coach?

Because he has a nice tie?

Because he's shy??

Speaking of which--one of these things is not like the others. One of these things doesn't belong.

How shy can he possibly be if he's in the club popping bottles and obviously hopped up on coke? This doesn't make sense, Nicki! Was it just for the sake of the rhyme? Whatever--that's just me being nit-picky.

My actual point is simple:

Nicki Minaj has created an all-around unlikeable character in Super Bass. A character she claims has her "heartbeat runnin' away." As a writer, I'm sitting here wondering, Why the hell would any chick in their right mind be interested in this guy??

Miss Minaj has pretty much written a clever 101 for how NOT to write a love interest. If his only "redeeming" quality is being able to afford expensive airline tickets, there's something very, very wrong.

What are your thoughts on Nicki's new song?

Have you ever stumbled across a horrible representation of a love interest in a song?

What about a great representation?

HAPPY WRITING, LOVELIES!

"You Have Good Words"

So, I've mentioned before that my boyfriend, Travis, isn't much of a reader, but I still really like to get his opinion (because if my story needs work, he will tell me about it...in the nicest way possible).

When I finished DARK WATER, he was actually pretty excited to start reading it. He gobbled down all 500 pages in only a few days (which is saying something, considering he works from 4 PM to 1 AM and, like I said, doesn't read much).

When he finished, I turned to him, eyes gleaming, and asked, "Well...what did you think?"

He got that far-off look in his eyes that let me know he was searching hard for the right thing to say. Then, he smiled and said, "You have good words."

My reaction:

Yeah...not exactly what I was looking for.

But then, he went on to tell me he thought the story was engrossing and very entertaining, that he enjoyed my characters, and there were moments that legitimately made him laugh out loud.

My reaction:

Yep. Made me feel pretty good.

Of course, I know Trav's opinion might be a little bias...y'know, since he's my boyfriend and all. But still--it's always nice to hear good things. Especially about something you worked your butt off on.

Now that he's done with it, I'm not sure what I'll do. I kind of want to put some distance between me and the story before I jump into any major edits. Maybe I'll take a little break, do some doodling and play some Sims and plan my NaNo project whatnot.

We'll see....

Has anyone told you you've got "good words" lately?

HAPPY WRITING, LOVELIES!

I'm Versatile!

I received The Versatile Blogger award from fellow writer and South Carolinian, Barbara V. Evers. Thanks so much, Barbara! You rock!!

By the way, you guys should totally pop over to her awesome blog, An Electric Muse, and check it out.

To accept this award, I have a few things I need to do:

1.)  Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them in your post.

2.)  Share 7 things about yourself.
3.)  Pass this Award along to 15 recently discovered blogs and let them know about it.

All righty--seven things about me:

7.)  I own a t-shirt that says BAMF on the front. Most people think it means "Bad Ass MotherF*cker," but it's actually a reference to the noise Nightcrawler (yes, from X-Men--he's my favorite) makes when he teleports. Why yes--I am a total nerd.

6.)  My bedroom is packed with books. I have two bookshelves that are overflowing and a table by my bed that's completely covered. In my dream house, I'll have my own private library like the one from Beauty and the Beast.

 
5.)  I have a budding Nightmare Before Christmas merchandise collection. One day, I hope to have something like this:

4.)  I love music boxes almost as much as I love Nightmare Before Christmas. (I actually have a Nightmare music box. It plays This Is Halloween.) They really fascinate me--especially older ones. I keep four beside my bed at all times:

3.)  I'm apparently pretty good at whipping up sweet treats. My mom calls me the "baker of the family" and, from what I hear, I can make a French silk pie that will "curl your toes." (Yes. My mom really said that.)

2.)  I still sleep with a stuffed animal my brother got for me back when I was seven. It's missing an eye and its nose and has been sewed up more times than I can count. But I just can't bring myself to throw it out.

1.)  When I was a kid, I had three ferrets--Fifi, Pepe, and Niki. I had to get rid of them (one guess why), but I've wanted another one ever since. My boyfriend promises to let me have one as long as I let him have a tortoise. (He's so weird...)

Well, there you go, everyone. Seven completely random things about yours truly. Now, time to pass this award along.

1.) Reinhardt! of The Reinhardt Experience

2.) WritingNut of Writing In A Nutshell

3.) Maria of First Draft Cafe

4.) David Powers King

5.) MC Rogerson of LifeBeyond

6.) Jen Daiker of Unedited

7.) Laila Knight of Untroubled Kingdom of Laila Knight

8.) Abby of Something to Write About

9.) Tara of Feel of Something New

10.) CherylAnne Ham of Making Words Happen

11.) Mina Burrows

12.) F.E. Sewell

13.) Jessica Peters of Jess Gets Creative

14.) Kadie Kinney of Three Point Perspective

15.) Kimberly of Meeting with my Muse

Thanks again Barbara for the award!! And congrats to everyone I've passed it along to. Hope you choose to accept it!

HAPPY WRITING, LOVELIES!

First Campaigner Challenge

First off, I want to say hello to all my new followers from the Campaigns! I'm really looking forward to getting to know everyone!

So, I want to take a shot at this 200 word flash fiction challenge. For those of you out of the loop, here's how it works (copied and pasted from Rach's blog):

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut." (also included in the word count)

For those who want an even greater challenge, make your story 200 words EXACTLY!

 Everyone can join in (but only Campaigners are eligible for prizes), so if you want to join in click over HERE for all the info.

Well, here goes...

----

ONE MORE STEP

The door swung open. I inhaled sharply at the abrupt movement and craned my head up. My heart trembled at what I saw.

I’d dropped to my knees as soon as I reached the temple, weary from long months of searching. I’d finally found it, the fabled spire of the gods. Home to untold riches. Legend said only those of purest intentions can enter.

Obviously, whoever wrote those legends was an idiot. The door opened for me--and my intentions were about as pure as Ol’ Freda’s, my town’s best known whore.

Beyond the opening, mountains of treasure awaited me, glittering in the dim light from the doorway. Coins and diamond-encrusted chalices. Gemstones as big as my head. Chests overflowing with gold and silver.

Treasure. As far as the eye could see.

My insides hummed. Fingers shook. Sweat beaded at the nape of my neck. I swallowed thickly to dislodge the quivering ball of exhilaration that clogged my throat. It exploded, sending a wave of joy flooding through me. I cheered out loud and clambered to my feet.

It’s all mine!

With excitement bubbling in my veins, I took my first confident step into the spire.

The door swung shut.

----

Started with "the door swung open," ended with "the door swung shut," and 200 words exactly, by my count. Whoo! That was fun. A little tricky, but uber fun :)

If you liked it, you could do me the huge favor of clicking HERE and scrolling down the Linky list to "like" my entry! (I'm #258) Thanks!

Oh, and before I go, I want to share this video with you guys. I thought it was pretty epic.

Here's a little background info (copied and pasted from the video description):

500 people holding more than 1,500 (!!!) developed pictures all around Israel, creating a smooth music video within their hands. (Best viewed not on full screen).

HAPPY WRITING, LOVELIES!

Writers' Platform-Building Campaign + Other Awesomesauce

Okay--I'm back and I have two super-mega-awesome things to talk about! 

 

First, Rachael Harrie is running the third Writers' Platform-Building Campaign (formerly known as the Crusades). It's a super fun way to link up with other writers in the online community. I participated in the last WPBC and it really was an amazing experience. So, if you love writing and want to meet plenty of great people who share in that love, CLICK HERE to sign up. But remember--you only have until August 31st to get your name on the list, so HURRY!

And second...

 

I FINISHED DARK WATER LAST NIGHT!!!

Yeppers. I have officially finished the first draft. And with a couple of days left over before my self-imposed deadline! 

 

YAAAY!

 

Cue the balloons and confetti!

I was thinking about taking a couple days off, but I'm kind of itching to get a jump-start on September's editing. My boyfriend is bugging me pretty hard about taking a break. (He thinks I'm "overworking" myself.) Hmm...I guess we'll just have to wait and see how that works out.

I'm going to have a lot more spare time--for fun things like blogging!--now that I'm not up to my ears in work, which will be nice. So yeah, prepare to be seeing a lot more of me around the blogosphere!

HAPPY WRITING, LOVELIES!

Gallagher, Eat Your Heart Out

We blew up a watermelon today. His name was Walter. Walter Melon. Poor, poor Walter.

As most of you know, I'm pretty busy scrambling to meet my August 31st deadline, but everyone needs to have a little fun, right?

Well, my little brother has been doing everything he possibly can to take the edge off. Heck--he spent nearly two hours today tracking down a copy of Rock and Rule for me. (It's a nostalgic favorite--don't judge me.)

He also decided to treat me to a little show staring the watermelon that's been sitting on my grandmother's front porch for the last two weeks and his .30-30 rifle.

And guess what?

I recorded it.

Enjoy.

(Lol at my hyena laugh at the twenty second mark.)

Poor Walter Melon. 

Oh well, it was either this or let him slowly rot on the porch, so I guess we did the right thing by putting him out of his misery.

Mkay! I'm going to get back to work now!

HAPPY WRITING, LOVELIES!

My Characters Know Me Better Than I Do

First off, I'm so, so, SO sorry for not being around. Like I said in my last post, things are kind of crazy around my house right now. I'm busy with family drama and helping my parents out with their  kennel. Also, my grandma's health has been a little iffy lately. It's nothing too bad, but if you guys want to send some good thoughts and prayers and whatnot our way, we'll all be very thankful.

Now, on to business! A few weeks ago, I was writing a scene in DARK WATER where one of the characters breaks out his harmonica and plays a little tune. As if happens, my MC has never seen a harmonica before, and I've never listened to any music that contains any sort of harmonica. I needed to describe what it sounded like, but had literally no clue. I could've just changed it to an instrument I knew more about, but that wouldn't have been right. It wouldn't be true to the character. He plays the harmonica--end of story.

So, naturally, I turned to a writer's best friend. Research. 

After what felt like a lifetime of rummaging around Google and YouTube (I thought it would be as easy as typing in 'harmonica music.' WRONG!), I found what I needed--a whole YouTube channel of nothing but song covers on the harmonica. I listened to pretty much every video they had, twice. And you know what I realized?

I really like the harmonica.

If I ever learn how to play an instrument, it'll be the harmonica. It's just an all-around awesome instrument.

I never would have realized my love of harmonica if this character hadn't come forward and said, "Hey, I play harmonica. It reminds me of home. No. I don't play the violin. And definitely not the flute. Harmonica--plain and simple. You don't know how to write that? Well, you'd better figure it out, 'cause that's the way this is going down."

Apparently, as the title of this post suggests, my characters know me better than I know myself. Maybe it's just a coincidence. Or maybe, somehow, this character's love of his harmonica stemmed subconsciously from a love I didn't even know I had.

But it's probably just a coincidence. lulz.

Also, just thought I'd let everyone know I'm definitely going over 100k with DARK WATER. *headdesk* Ah well, I've been pretty sure I was going to do that for a while. Now it's just kind of staring me in the face. I'm at 99k, and I've still got a two huge plot points to touch on before getting to the ending. Le sigh. But like I've said before, it's no big deal. I'll tackle the word count in editing. If I can chop 40k off BROKEN, I can do it with DARK WATER as well, if need be.

Is it weird that a fictional person introduced me to one of my new favorite things?

Have your characters ever made you realize something new about yourself?

HAPPY WRITING, LOVELIES!

Harry Potter, Inception, And Lots of Craziness

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part two came out today. I wanted to go to last night's midnight showing, but I still have yet to see part one (I know, I know. I'm lame), so it wouldn't have felt right. I'll bet it was a freaking circus, though. I would've loved to see how many people in my teeny-tiny town cared enough to dress up.

I'm so sad to see Harry Potter's saga come to an end. I'm gonna cry when I do finally see it--I know I will. Because this isn't just the end of an amazing story. I grew up with HP. The first movie came out when I was eight. I rushed out to see it with my best friend on opening day and we did the same for every installment to come out afterwards.

Now I'm eighteen, my best friend has moved away, and Harry Potter is coming to a close. It's almost like an official goodbye to my childhood.

But I'll probably still hold on to the hope that my Hogwarts acceptance letter got lost in transit.

 Oh! Guess what happened to me the night before last?

I had a DREAM INSIDE A DREAM!

INCEPTION!!

In the first dream, I was hanging out with a group of people--I don't know any of them, which is kinda weird--at what I think was an amusement park. I vaguely remember being in a wave pool, then getting on a roller-coaster, which is also pretty weird, considering I get a sunburn every time I even THINK of getting in a pool and roller-coasters make me barf.

Then my boyfriend, Travis, woke me up and asked me if I was "enjoying my dream." It's kinda fuzzy, but I remember telling him about the dream I was just having in detail--doing little turns and flips and shizz to demonstrate. (I should've known it was a dream at that point--there's no way I could ever stand flat-footed and do a back flip.)

Suddenly, my alarm clock went off and I realized...

All that stuff--Travis waking me up and asking me about my dream--IT WAS ANOTHER DREAM!

I think it's pretty cool that dream-Trav actually asked me if I was enjoying the dream--as if to say "hint-hint-wink-wink, you're totally dreaming right now." Maybe if I'd been paying attention (and my alarm hadn't gone off), I could've become lucid. Lucid dreaming is consciously realizing you're in a dream, allowing you to manipulate the events and imagery. It's something I've been looking into for a few years now. So far, I've been pretty unsuccessful in actually accomplishing it.

Anywho--about the craziness part. Things around my house have been pretty hectic lately. I won't go into too much detail, but there's some heavy stuff going down and it needs my full attention. I've been stuck on 94k for days now, which means I'm falling way behind with my work. My personal life is really driving a wedge between me and my writing right now, but I'm not too worried about it. Like I said, there's some heavy stuff going on and I need to be dealing with it more than I need to be working.

Hopefully, things will cool off in the coming weeks and I'll be able to get back on schedule. 'Cause I'm still set on getting things done in time to participate in NaNo this year.

Have you seen the new HP flick yet?

Did you enjoy it?

Have you ever experienced Inception?

Is your life feeling as crazy as mine is right now?

 HAPPY WRITING, LOVELIES!

For The Lulz Friday

Hello, lovelies! It's Friday and I don't have a post planned out, but I wanted to post something anyway since I haven't been around much this week. And what do I resort to whenever I don't have any ideas? Why--lulz, of course.

So, anywho, I've got a few videos that will hopefully get a few giggles out of you. I know they made me lmao.

First up, we've got Elmo, placing an order at Taco Bell.

I had NO IDEA there was a Taco Bell on Sesame Street. Just be careful, Elmo. Last time I ate Taco Bell, I thought someone detonated an M80 in my large intestine.

Next is a prank video involving three guys in a communal shower and lots of shampoo.

Ahhh...I've seen this video four or five times now and it still makes me laugh. Especially around the one minute mark where dude starts losing his effing mind.

This next video isn't particularly funny. In fact, it's not funny at all. I don't even like looking at it. Buuuut, it is kinda cool--in an OMG-WTF-IS-THAT kinda way--and I thought you guys might be able to get a kick out of it. So without further ado, enjoy this gigantic, freaky insect.

Gah! This video makes my skin crawl. Now, if you don't know--I'm, like, cripplingly afraid of insects. I'll run screaming from something as harmless as a moth. So the first time I saw this video, I almost flipped out of my chair.

I need something awesome to take the shivers away. Hmmm. Ah! How about everyone's favorite redneck, Steve McGranahan, trimming his hedges with a chainsaw on a rope? (Skip to the 2 minute mark. This guy likes his padding.) Oh! And before I show you guys, I have to say:  

THIS IS A STUNT PREFORMED FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES! DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME! IF YOU DO, YOU WILL PROBABLY DIE! AND IF YOU DON'T DIE, I WILL PERSONALLY COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND KICK YOU IN THE FACE FOR DOING SOMETHING SO STUPID AND DANGEROUS.

So yeah--as epic as that is, don't ever, ever, EVER try it. Unless you have a serious hankering for losing a limb or something crazy like that.

Well, that's all for the videos. But how about some funny pictures and whatnot before I leave?

Yep. That's totally a snake. That's the rare Eastern European Zelig Snake. (That's a really lame reference. I'm not sure anyone else will get the joke.)

It's no secret that I love spelling fails, but rarely do I find one quite this epic. Am I the only one that finds themselves thinking, "Yoo-hoo, saaaayler boy."

I'll admit--I watched Powerpuff Girls when I was little. But I never paid enough attention to catch this. It really tickle my nerd-funny bone.

What the hell kind of drugs was this guy doing?! This just goes to show you--drugs are bad and do not result in superpowers.

Ewww. Someone tell Snooki her tan-in-a-can isn't working!

Pfffft! This makes me laugh so hard. Where can I buy one of these things?!

Mkay. That's all for now! (If you guys enjoy my "For The Lulz" posts, let me now and FTLF might become a regular feature.)

ENJOY THE LULZ, LOVELIES!